


A Mystery Of Proximity

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:18:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1879575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt: Did You Just Romance Cthulhu? Rose's friends do not approve of her new romantic interest and would really like her to shut up about how useful those tentacles are.</p><p>(HSWC Bonus Round 4)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mystery Of Proximity

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: so  
TG: i notice the horrorterrors have been coming awful close recently  
TG: floating ever towards us despite karkats loudest protests to the contrary  
TG: as if theyre drawn to us by the sweet siren song of ancient and terrible eldritch majycks  
TG: completely overriding their natural fear of grumpy trolls telling them to get off of the lawn and turn down their gosh darned devil music  
TG: and as the resident mistress of the arcane  
TG: as well as the ex bff of all that is dubiously zoological  
TG: i figured maybe you could shed some light on this situation  
TT: I might be convinced to assist you in this mystery, if you have the time.  
TG: i see  
TT: You’ve used that one before.  
TG: shit  
TG: okay  
TG: how about  
TG: if you check the calendar on the fridge you can clearly see that my schedule is open  
TT: Acceptable.  
TT: So shall I help you rescue the truth from the tower of deceit, like some kind of mounted hero saving a princess?  
TG: nice  
TG: but for real  
TG: whats up with these things  
TG: and their sudden interest in uncomfortable proximity  
TT: I have been calling them.  
TG: oh ok  
TG: that makes perfect sense  
TG: but just out of curiosity  
TG: why have you been doing that  
TT: The reason is unimportant.  
TT: They are perfectly harmless.  
TG: to most of us sure  
TG: but dont you think maybe you should stay away from the things  
TG: considering last time you listened to them it made you go crazy  
TT: I am not doing their bidding, nor am I gleaning anything dangerous or unknowable.  
TG: then why are you bringing them here  
TG: i dont like looking at them up close  
TT: I told you the reason is unimportant.  
TG: bullshit  
TT: You don’t want to know.  
TG: if you dont explain ill have to assume you have been taken again by the bloodeldritch throes of the broodfester tongues  
TG: at which point i will have to come stop you  
TT: Fine.  
TT: Their purpose is sexual in nature.  
TG: what  
TT: I enjoy their exquisite tentacles writhing all over my body.  
TG: ew  
TT: Lifting me up and filling me up with squirming, slimey appendages.  
TG: stop  
TT: I told you that you did not want to know.  
TG: are you being serious  
TT: Yes.  
TT: That is the only reason I have been calling them here.  
TT: I promise there will be no bloodeldritch throes, except as pure innuendo.  
TG: ok  
TG: in that case  
TG: mystery solved  
TG: and im going to go cry in the shower for a few hours

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]


End file.
